If you want to get better, stop focusing on them

We become what we think about.

Ask yourself what consumes your thoughts daily. If you look back you will notice that the same thoughts that consumed your mind yesterday are the same thoughts that consume your mind today.

What’s dangerous is that most of these thoughts are negative. We are constantly recycling the same negative thoughts daily.

Training the mind is difficult but must be done daily with intention. What we focus on the most is what our lives will eventually become.

If we focus on new thoughts, it will lead to new actions.


Our thoughts become our actions which leads to our lifestyle.


In the past, I used to be consumed by others opinions about me and it affected the way I lived my life.

Sometimes, I would waste an entire day asking myself why people have cruel intentions. AN ENTIRE DAY.

When I learned how to stopped focusing on others and focus on myself, I started to reach new levels in my life.


When you start to do better, they will notice

Our imagination can be very creative. Subconsciously, we put others in boxes depending on our perception of those people.

For instance, if you worked as an office cleaner all your life and suddenly you decide to start a business, most people will doubt your capabilities or even ridicule you.

Try not to let these people get to you. Take your power away from them by not focusing on them. Let them say whatever they need to, as long as their words are not a threat to your life.

If there’s one thing that you cannot change, it’s the opinions of others. Focusing on others’ opinions will not add any value to your life. It will not help you reach your goals either.


Your friends and family will bring you down

Whether you like it or not, people will always have something to say about you. The biggest mistake we make is expecting everyone to do as we do.

Just because we don’t have bad intentions for other people, it doesn’t mean that they don’t have bad intentions for us.

The people that I’m talking about can be anyone – friends, family, colleagues or even your own partner.

Usually, it is the people that are closest to you who know exactly how to bring you down. They know your weaknesses and are capable of using it against you.

I know many of us experienced betrayal from someone we trusted. We spend so much time questioning or making excuses for their actions. We do this because betrayal never comes from a stranger.

Instead of wasting time on them, focus on yourself

Listen to inspirational messages

Listening to messages of hope has the ability to change the way you structure your thoughts. Before I started listening to messages of hope, my mind had a lot of free time to wonder about dumb things that had no impact on my life.

I lived a life with no purpose.

Over the years, I started training my mind to focus on positive things and aiming higher towards personal growth. These daily videos or messages of inspiration is what carries me through my worst days.

Work on your talent

All of us have a unique talent but the problem is that so many people waste this talent.

Turn your passion into your job or side hustle, and it will give you a sense of fulfillment and purpose.

When you do something you love, you are more likely to focus all your attention on doing that task, which helps you develop your skills and talent further.

Eventually, you will either be too happy to even notice the drama people create OR you will be too busy to care about their opinions.


Let small talk be a thing of the past

Deep conversations matter. The most annoying thing to me is when a person speaks to me about anything that doesn’t matter.

As I start to value myself more, I understand how important my time is. I don’t have time to talk about anyone’s morning breakfast routine.

Instead of wasting my time by listening to people who rant about things with no purpose, I would rather spend that time listening to meaningful things that help me grow as a person.

Small talk is just a waste of time. Maybe you don’t realize the importance of time now, but 50 years from now, you will regret not doing the things you wanted to.

You will regret all those hours you spent listening to someone telling you what they ate for lunch every single day.

You will live with the consequences of your actions

Try not to let the opinions of others get to you. No matter what you do in life, you will always be judged, so you might as well go ahead and do it anyway.

If you want to try something new, maybe take a new class or start a new job, do it – because something inside you will change for the better.

You will live to regret not pursuing your goals based on the opinions of others.

When I decided to start this blog, I didn’t tell anyone because each person would have their own opinion about my life.

But ultimately, I am the only person who lives with the consequences of my decisions, so if I was screwing up, I was going to screw up on my own terms, not someone else’s.

I want to leave you with this

What we feed will grow.

Take action before it’s too late, listen to positive messages but don’t forget to also take action and work towards what you want to achieve in life.

If we feed ourselves with negative thoughts, we cannot expect to be productive individuals.

We have to set the intention of training our minds to overcome the limitations we have. For those people who try to bring you down, let them be, keep focusing on you and watch how your life transforms in something great.

Written by:

Kammy Govender

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About me

Hi there 👋 My name is Kammy. I'm from Sunny South Africa. I first started this blog as a personal development platform. I soon realised that as I worked on my mental health, my financial wealth also started to increase unintentionally. So I want to take the knowledge and skills I attained and bring them to you in an afforable way that allows you to be financially free too!

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